I'm a wedding celebrant in The Cotswolds / West Midlands and one of the first questions I ask couples planning their wedding ceremony is...
Are you writing your own vows?
I love it when they say YES they've decided to write their own vows. It makes your celebrant ceremony even more meaningful and let's face it - no matter how well I get to know you, your declarations of love to each other will always sound better when they've been written by you! When you write your own vows it allows you to make promises to your partner that are unique to you and your relationship, they are even more special because they are commitments that are important to you both. However, when it comes to actually writing them, it can be difficult to know where to start! How do you sum up everything you feel about your partner in just a few lines? Well panic over - like a real life celebrant superhero I am here to help!!
This guide will give you the four simple steps that I advise my couples to use so that they can write vows that feel genuine and heartfelt. It doesn't matter if you don't stick to the structure completely or you add things in, but if you're feeling a little bit stuck, this will give you a great starting point and should give you some inspiration!
Step 1: Start With A Few Lines To Your Partner
Begin by addressing your partner directly. You could talk about how much you love them and what they mean to you. Maybe mention something specifically about them as a person that you love. Keep it genuine and true to yourself, as these words will set the tone for the rest of your vows. So if you are a romantic - start with a romance, if you're more lighthearted, then go with that!
Example:
“W, from the moment your gorgeous face popped up on my screen, I knew there was something special about you. I'm not sure if it was the cheeky smile or the awful jokes but I knew we were perfect for each other. Even after all these years together, your smile still makes me melt and I still laugh at your awful jokes, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Step 2: A Few Lines About Your Relationship
Next, talk about what you love about your relationship. This could be the little quirks and mannerisms, inside jokes, daily routines, or special memories from your relationship so far.
Example:
“We are such a good match, and I love our Friday nights together—just you, me, and the pets, curled up on the sofa with cups of tea, or a glass of wine, binge-watching our favourite shows. I love that we don’t need to have big plans to enjoy each other’s company; it’s in those small, quiet moments that I realise how lucky I am to do life with you.”
Step 3: Add Some Promises To Each Other
This is the main part of your vows, the promises of commitment that you are making to each other on your wedding day. Think about the ways you already show up for each other to be a great partner, and commit to continuing those things throughout your marriage. Think about what kind of partner you want to be and promise to work hard to be that person.
Example:
“I promise to always be your teammate and your biggest cheerleader, to stand by your side when you need me the most. I promise to always make you laughing, even when it feels like there is nothing to smile about. I’ll be there to comfort you in hard times, and celebrate with you in good times. I promise to always explore the world with you and to always make you a 'nice cup of tea' after a hard day at work. And most of all, I promise to love you with all my heart, today and always, and be the best partner I can be.”
Step 4: Talk About The Future
Finish your vows by adding a few lines about the future. Talk about what you’re looking forward to about married life and why your hopes and wishes for your future together. It’s a lovely way to wrap up your vows with optimism and excitement for what's ahead of you as you start your next chapter.
Example:
“I’m so excited to start the next part of our journey together. I can’t wait to take on life’s adventures with you, big or small, and to continue growing together. Whether we’re travelling the world or simply having cosy nights at home together, I know everything will be better because you're by my side. I’m so proud to be yours, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.”
Takeaways
Writing your own wedding vows may feel like a big challenge, but remember, they don’t have to be perfect — they just need to be personal and heartfelt. By following these four simple steps, you'll be able to capture the magic of your relationship and your commitment to each other in a way that feels genuine to both of you.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Your vows should reflect your personality and your unique relationship with your partner. They know you inside out already, so as long as you speak from the heart - they will love it because it has come from you! Laura x
Need some more help?
I offer one to one vow guidance to all of my couples, including a vow writing service if you don't want to write them yourselves (you may have changed your mind after reading this blog?)! If you'd like to have a chat about your wedding ceremony and how I can help with your vows you can get in touch here.
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